FMQB

FMQB: Hill has the runs and it TyREEKs!

I’ll get to the title later, but poop jokes have infiltrated the NFL! We are halfway through the season! Teams are pulling away, teams are falling apart, and there are plenty of questions and playoff races abound.

Week 9 Highlights:

• For those who stuck with the game, Rams at Saints lived up to the hype. I am convinced this will be the NFC Championship this year. I went from being depressed down 21, to saying “holy crap I can’t believe they came back to tie it!”
• The only TD scored in Jets at Dolphins was a pick 6
• Vikings set a franchise record of 10 sacks on Matthew Stafford.
• The Falcons look like they may make a playoff run even at 4-4
• Demarious Thomas had the unique distinction of being traded on Tuesday, and then playing IN DENVER on Sunday again, but wearing a different jersey. Texans stole a win from the Broncos to extend their win streak to 6.
• The Seahawks having multiple chances to tie the game on the last play was exciting
• Have to admit, despite being completely outplayed, the Packers hung in with the Patriots for much longer than I expected.

2003 Celebrations:

Let’s take you back 15 years, where there are no rules, and people are standing on the Cowboys star at midfield, and pulling out cell phones for the Saints. Wait, what? It’s 2018! I know a lot of people don’t like it, but it was really cool to see the throwbacks. The Titans celebration was a tad ridiculous, they were still losing at that point, but at least it was nostalgic (how has nobody done that in 15 years?). Even as a Rams fan, and with the play being a dagger to the game, I laughed when I saw Michael Thomas grab the cell phone from the endzone. He even legitimately got a flip phone like Joe Horn had years ago!

Quick Hits:

• Not trying to go undefeated is a blessing in disguise. The Rams end the season with San Fran and Arizona. If they lock up a first round bye, one could argue you have nearly 4 weeks between meaningful games. The Rams also have the Chiefs which will be a bruiser, and the Bears, but otherwise 5 of the last 7 games are against teams with losing records.
• The Saints needed that win. Not only could you tell that home field advantage was key to them, but they finish the season with Atlanta, at Carolina, Pittsburgh, and Carolina.
• The last 6 Browns coaches to be fired were all fired within 24 hours of losing to the Steelers.
• Dude, everybody and their Mom knew that Brees was going to Michael Thomas, someone stop him! He had a league-wide season-high 211 yards

Stat of the Week:

The Steelers and Panthers scored 3 TD’s in a 23 second span, setting an NFL record for the fastest 21 points scored in history.

Stat of the Week #2:

Sam Bradford has played 83 games and thrown 103 TD’s. His career record is 34-48-1, but has earned $130M.

Stat of the Week #3:

Nathan Peterman threw 3 INT’s Sunday (big surprise there). He has played in 8 games, in which he has 3 TD’s, 12 INT’s, and a 32.5 quarterback rating. To put this into perspective, the punter who goes 0-1 with 0 yards and 0 INT’s will have a passer rating of 39.6.

Stat of the Week #4:

We bid adieu to Adam Theilen’s 100 yard streak, ending at an NFL record 8 games to start a season. He did not look right out there Sunday, and not having Diggs to take away some of the doubles also hurt.

Stat of the Week #5:

On a happier note, we also bid adieu to Julio Jones’ 343 day TD-less streak! Despite putting up massive yards, it took him until Week 9 to make it into the endzone.

Stat of the Week #6:

The Bills faced the toughest NFL schedule through the first 8 games, and have the easiest schedule remaining for the last 8. I still blame Nathan Peterman…

Stat of the Week #7:

Todd Gurley has scored more points than the entire Bills team. Keep in mind, 2 team FG’s equals one of Gurley’s TD’s.

Story of the Week:

Apparently when Jamarcus Russell was in the league and bombing, coaches weren’t convinced he was watching film and preparing for games. It came out this week that they used to send him home with blank tapes. The next day they’d ask how the film was, and he would say “yeah, great to see those blitz packages and how I should avoid them.” Wow!

For the Record:

• Doesn’t it seem like the amount of trick plays are fairly staggering? The Panthers seem to run something every week, but nearly every game I see a flea flicker or some other crazy end around where the WR throws it. Not complaining one iota, just making the observation.
• Steelers Panthers was the Thursday night game I was most excited to watch this year, and I suppose if you like offense we got it. Holy cow, it was 52-14 by the end of the 3^rd! Even so, Christian McCaffery looks like the real deal.
• Bills fans have started a Go-Fund me page so Nathan Peterman can retire from the NFL. It has a goal of $1M, but is only hat $157.
• Dez Bryant’s waiting game couldn’t have gone more perfectly. And now somehow the Saints look even more scary on offense!
• So apparently on Sunday, a Bills fan found human poop in the stands. POOP! In section 122! The best part is that it looked “old” and they think it was leftover from the Monday night game against the Patriots.

Tiny Rant:

I am sick of Giants and Cowboys and other crap teams being in primetime. I don’t care if they’re America’s team, nobody wants to watch a 3-5 team that can’t convert 3^rd downs every other week. If you want to know an actual problem with NFL ratings, it’s the fact that these mediocre teams in major markets keep getting primetime games. The Giants have 4 games this year, Cowboys 5, Raiders 4. The Chargers have 1, but it’s the Thursday game everyone gets, so none by choice.

2^nd Half Predictions:

Midway point is always sad and exciting. Here’s a few predictions as well as playoff predictions.

• NFL MVP goes to Mahomes or Brees. Brees has never won it believe it or not!
• Raiders get the #1 overall pick
• Packers miss the playoffs despite Rodgers playing all 16 games
• Nick Mullens ends up starting most of the games, and for a different team next year

AFC: (I’m being lame, saying that all teams remain the same, just some shuffling)

1. Patriots
2. Chiefs
3. Steelers
4. Texans
5. Chargers
6. Bengals

NFC:

1. Saints
2. Rams
3. Vikings
4. Eagles
5. Panthers
6. Bears

I am super tempted to throw the Falcons in, I just couldn’t pull the trigger.

Quote of the Year!

“Tyreek Hill is the fastest player I’ve ever seen. The only thing faster than him is the jambalya that ran through me last night” Rex Ryan

Here’s proof: https://www.saturdaydownsouth.com/sec-football/watch-rex-ryan-makes-poop-joke-on-sunday-nfl-countdown-rattles-sam-ponder-to-her-core/

That’s poop joke #2, for the record.

Quote of the Week #2:

“I fully intend to be around for the 2022 rematch” Tom Brady, regarding the next time him and Rodgers would meet

Quote of the Week #3:

“We need volunteers, not hostages” Mike Tomlin, referring to LeVeon Bell

Meme’s of the Week:

And for everyone who voted…